2pm in the afternoon.
Yes, afternoon, and I sit here, dreamy-eyed, to write.
The unthinkable has finally happened. A pure nocturnal creature sighted during the brightest hours of the day, trying to shed some light into the darkest parts of her convoluted mind!
Day-writing. Day-time. Day-light.
It feels a little unnatural to me. The night is my best friend, my trustworthy confidant. The dark has been freeing me of the shackles that hold me back during the sunny mornings.
And yet, here I am now, facing my demons head-on, seeing things clearly, and for once, not being engulfed by the comfortable embrace of dusk.
What is it about the clash of light and dark, of day and night, that makes them the perfect metaphors for diving into the depths of the human psyche?
Can one exist without the other?
What meaning does light hold for anyone had there been no darkness?
The day shines the brightest for those who have endured a long night!
Maybe not endured. It is the wrong word.
I keep thinking for a better one, but my brain-cells don’t work as well at this hour of the day.
No, not endured, though.
I have been through many-a long nights.
Some were endured. Some suffered. Some rejoiced!
The course taken might have varied, but the result has always been the same : The night is my best friend!
It makes me feel alive. To breathe without being judged and to love without being afraid.
There is something about the tranquility of the darkest hours I find to be eternally therapeutic. My thoughts get integrated with the surroundings, my anxiety gets disintegrated into the universe, and my heart feels nothing but an ever-lasting sense of peace.
I am absolved of guilt, regret and fear!
The night has always been my best friend!
And yet, I am talking about it to this humid afternoon, thinking out loud about how comfortable I am even without the dark guiding me through.
Does this mean the day is now capable of providing me with similar levels of comfort as the night used to? To some extent, yes!
I no longer need the moonlit veil to feel like myself. I stand tall and cast a huge shadow as I look at the Sun in its eyes, and smile!
Of course, this in no way belittles the beautiful impact darkness has (and shall continue to have) on me.
I stand strong in the day BECAUSE I have stood strong in the night. And nothing can ever change that.
I carry a darkness inside me, and so I can shine in the light!
The moonlight’s child is now sun-kissed as well!
What has been given to me time and again by the night has now been provided by the day as well : Acceptance.
My time has arrived and I am not one to back down.
For the night is dark, yet full of hope!
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