Holding On, Letting Go!

Let it go. Take it easy. Just go with the flow.

We’ve been given this advice countless times. We have doled out this advice even more.

What’s amazing is that it applies to every single situation in our lives. And I’m not exaggerating. I do mean every single situation.

Tell me I’m wrong. Give me examples of situations where this does not apply. I would like to know!

Anyway, what’s even more amazing is that more often than not, we are not able to let go.


We do not want to let go.

Of things. Of people. Of emotions.

Why is it so hard? Why do we find it to be a Herculean task to accept something and just let it be? Wouldn’t it hurt our own peace and sanity if we keep holding on to something that no longer has meaning?

Okay maybe that’s not the right phrase. Sure, it holds meaning. It always will. But maybe, just maybe, it does not make sense anymore. And it’s becoming increasingly difficult to justify why you are still stuck where you are.

You do everything possible to avoid facing facts. You avoid confrontations. You don’t talk to people about it, because let’s face it, they will tell you exactly what needs to be done. You know this. You know this in your heart. But you do not want to confirm your thoughts through someone else’s words. You argue with yourself, coming up with insane reasons and logic. And you do this over and over again.

And for what?

To buy yourself more time!

To stay in your comfort zone a little bit longer, before you absolutely have to let it go.

And one day, time catches up with you. Because of course it does. It always does. No one has ever escaped time. We do not know if God exists. We probably never will. But we know for a fact that time exists. And sooner or later, we have to face the music.

Enrique Iglesias has this beautiful song called “Escape”. There’s this line in the song – “You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love”. Amazing song. But I’d like to modify the lyric just a little bit. You can run, you can hide, but you cannot escape the consequences of your own actions!

It’s true. You know it. I know it.

It’s just a hard pill to swallow.

But let’s try to decode why is it we cannot bring ourselves to let go of stuff, shall we? I don’t think there is an exact right or wrong answer here, but I have a theory. We are afraid that it would lose its importance. That if we can let something go, it would somehow lose its value. That somehow, it would prove that we never cared enough or that what we shared was not true. We feel it would reduce its significance, and we end up blaming ourselves for not doing enough. For not being enough.

Simply put, if I let a butterfly go, did I ever truly love it?

We vilify ourselves. Us humans are really good at that. We will find any excuse possible to exonerate people around us, people we care for. And yet, we fail to do the same for our own self.

People say that we have become more selfish. I beg to differ.

We have lost our sense of self. We put so much effort and value on our external circumstances that we have forgotten how to do the same for our own self, our mental and emotional well-being, and our own health.

And so we question every single decision we make, to the extent of losing our sanity.

And so, we cannot let go.

We cling to the rose so hard, we do not even realize we are grasping it by the thorns.

Of course it’s going to hurt the minute we loosen the grip. Suddenly our palm will feel the sting. The blood will start flowing. Even the fresh air around you that brought you joy will start to haunt you and inflict further pain on your hand. But tell me, how exactly are you supposed to apply an antiseptic to the wound without dropping the rose first? You cannot begin the healing process if you refuse to let go!

Yes, I know, it’s easier, much much easier, said than done. That is true for every single life advice we get and we give. Doesn’t change the fact that it is right.

You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do!

Have a little faith, maybe? Things eventually turn out okay. Another clichéd advice. Another truth!

Maybe a new rose grows in your garden. Maybe you start planting daisies. Or maybe the wild chrysanthemum takes over and fills your surroundings with bright colors.

Who knows?

All we can do, sometimes, is have faith. And sometimes, that’s enough!

– J

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