The Year of Change

If I may begin by stating an irony of epic proportions, I set out to write about how difficult it is to deal with change, and lo and behold, the WordPress editor has completely changed and I’m having a hard time navigating through this new interface. So, that’s fun!

Serves me right for being inactive on my blog for so long!

Anyway, shall we begin?

Change is the only constant

Oh this oft-quoted phrase. Have we not heard that? Hell, have we not heard that a million times in 2020 itself? And don’t even get me started with, “These are unprecedented times.” I swear to God, if I have to hear that one more time, there will be unprecedented carnage that will follow.

But I digress. As always. Some things never change, eh?

2020. How do we even begin to describe you?

There are a thousand things I could say about the year we are currently enduring. But the one word that defines the year at its core is change.

Sure, there has been a change in the way we live, we work, we eat, we shop, we connect, we converse. But that’s another topic for another day. Or not. I’m sure by now enough, hell, more than enough has been said about all this. You really don’t need me to ramble on about it any further.

But no. That’s not what I’m talking about. The biggest change this year, for me personally, has been in my perspective.

Now I always believe that I am able to look at all sides before making a choice. It’s the root cause of my indecision, but I digress. Yet again!

The year 2020 has brought so much perspective in my life. In all our lives, I’m sure. It has literally opened my eyes to what my real, actual lifestyle is like. What actually drives me. What’s holding me back. What’s good for me and what’s bad. As insightful as it has been, the process has been, quite frankly, scary.

Because when is change ever not scary? Sure, I realize I am sitting at a position of privilege, tucked inside a cushy blanket, safe in my home, surrounded by people I love. But even then, the year has brought to surface many underlying issues that still stay unresolved.

Why?

Well, because I have had my undivided attention. And because I have started to identify patterns in my routine, in my behavior that need improvement. Acknowledgement is the first step towards self-improvement, and as much as I would like to credit myself for taking that first step, it is just not enough. There has to be more. So much more that needs to be done. After all, merely identifying the issue does me no favors. I need to take action, over and over again, to form the new habits.

A lot has changed already. A lot of toxicity is already out of my life. And although it has been great, it hasn’t been easy. Not in the least.

So now that I see more changes are coming into my life, I already know how much more of work I need to put into myself.

Will it be worth it? Of course it would. There’s no doubt about it. But just because you know that the wave of change is necessary and for your own good, it still does not make it any easier to sit back calmly and let it wash over you.

Sucks, right?

But well, we always know what’s right. We just aren’t able to accept it as quickly. Or easily.

So we fight change. As if that is ever a good idea. The more you try to fight it, the more power you give it over you. And then it eats up your head. And then you begin to lose your mind. And then you rely on distractions to keep your mind occupied, just to save you from yourself.

Phew!

That’s a lot of work. Almost as much work as you need to adapt to the change and leverage it to benefit you, to modify it to suit your needs.

So then, why don’t we put in the effort for the right cause from the very beginning? Wouldn’t it save you time?

Of course it would. But then, there’s the whole thing about the known devil, right? We’d rather stay complacent in our comfort zone than take charge and make change for good.

And this is where the 2020 perspective has changed the way I think. Or at least, I’m still processing the new perspective. Hey, better to try and fail than never try at all, right?

Well, if there’s one thing 2020 has taught me, taught us all, actually, is that *drumrolls*

life is too short

Path breaking, right? Revolutionary. If only someone had come up with this before.

Sarcasm aside, I know this seems like the most obvious thing in the world, but never before has there been a physical manifestation of this quote that has affected the world, the entire world, to this extent. I mean, there are so many things I would have done differently had I known what 2020 is going to bring in.

And so, I’m trying to, I don’t know, do the right thing, I guess? Do better, actually. Because if not now, then when?

I’m not saying I am successful in living up to my potential yet. But I’m on that path. I’m stumbling and falling and failing miserably, quite frankly. But two steps forward, one step back is still progress, however slow it may be.

And that’s the change that’s most affecting me. Benefiting me, actually.

Because the quarantine is either a year of wasted opportunities, or a year of putting in work on yourself and making the most of the stolen time.

It all comes down to your perspective. And that’s what makes all the difference!

– J

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